Freakshake, (noun) def: A big, sickly, exceedingly OTT, monstrous milkshake.
Sound like your kind of heaven? Hatties is a little independent cafe in Headingley, Leeds and they have just started selling these bad boys, so me and my two ex-housemates decided to make the trip. I think it’s safe to say it’s our new favourite hang out.
We went not only to try one of these mega-milkshakes, but also for brunch which was equally as scrumptious. Yes, I know what you’re wondering: how did we manage brunch and a milkshake fit for a king? We are piggies, okay. And although we left double the size we went in, it was 100% worth it. They also serve breakfast all day, so you can be exceedingly lazy and get your bacon and eggs at 2pm if you really want to.
When you walk into the cafe, the word that comes to mind is cute. Light and airy with pastel coloured decor, mismatched chairs and the odd big squishy sofa. Food is ordered at the counter and you’re given a table number on a wooden spoon in a little milk bottle tied with a ribbon. I told you: cute. Actually, what might be more applicable is sweet.
Behind the counter were loads of sweet treats to choose from; perfectly decorated cupcakes with lashings of icing, brownies galore, and cake, cake, cake. As tempting as they were, this was not why we were here. There it was, written above the counter in big curly writing: freakshakes. There was a choice of vanilla, strawberry, oreo or sweet and salty (aka salted caramel and peanut butter, the best combination ever).
Brunch was on a separate menu. I decided to go for the avocado on toast with seeds and tomatoes and added on a couple of poached eggs for good measure. Mmm mmm mmm. For my brunch, freakshake (obvs) and a glass of orange juice the whole thing came to less than £15.
When our plates arrived we weren’t disappointed. Also, hats off to the chef, yes chef, who brought out our food; he was chatty, friendly and made me even happier I was getting my brunch (if that was even possible). Excuse the photo on the right too – I couldn’t quite wait to tuck in before taking the snap. The birds-eye-view, while looking pretty, also really does not do the bread justice. That may sound like a silly comment and maybe I’m just used to my crappy 50p value loaf from Tesco (student life), but it was so thick. 10/10 for bread.
My friends, if you’re wondering had a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel and avocado on toast, this time topped with smoked salmon. I’m assuming they enjoyed it was much as me because we all inhaled within minutes, followed by instant regret when we remembered our freakshakes were still to come.
Luckily we had quite a wait on our freakshakes, not that we minded at all. The blender had broken just after we’d ordered and one of the waitresses had to whiz home and get her Nutribullet just so we weren’t left disappointed. And we were not. Here’s the beauties:
It really was a photo moment (if you didn’t upload it on Insta, did you even have it?). Quite aesthetically, we’d also all opted for different flavours. From left to right, oreo, sweet and salty and strawberry. We all passed them round and everyone apart from Nikki, who decided to tell me she actually hated peanut butter after having a huge glug of mine, loved them all.
Not going to lie, it took about half an hour for us to actually finish the
drinks deserts, but if you think you’ll be up for the challenge and live local to Leeds, I’d highly recommend.
Oh, and just when you thought things couldn’t get any better, they also let you take your dogs in and provide treats for them too.
Their motto? “Treat yo’ self”, and it could not be more apt.