It’s one week until tour!
“What’s tour?” I hear you ask. No, I’m not in some cool retro band travelling the globe (though that would be pretty cool). It’s sports tour time at uni, aka the funniest, drunkest, most ridiculous week of your life. Think girls holiday, but bigger and better.
Instead of you and your five best mates sauntering along the beach in your triangl bikinis catching a few rays before you hit the strip that night, think fifty girls. Think outrageous fancy dress. Think day drinking and games. Think punishment. You thought your sports team initiation was bad? Ha! Let’s just hope you’re not the last one to down you 2L bottle of cider your returner made you tape to your hand at 9am that morning.
And the best bit? Everyone’s just as crazy as you. Last year I witnessed a guy dressed as Jimmy Savile chase a guy dressed as a baby round the beach, my friend do our cheer routine in a banana costume and I came back to my hotel to find a drunk naked girl dressed as a troll doll asleep on my toilet. Tour is weird. But great. (But weird).
Anyway, with excessive alcohol consumption and one non-stop party, hangovers are inevitable. But fear not! If uni has taught me one thing aside from never turning down free food and how to be incredibly lazy, it’s how to deal with hangovers.
Assuming you’ve listened to (and most likely ignored) the “line your stomach’, “have water in between your drinks”, “pace yourself”, “don’t mix your drinks” advice, lets skip straight to the morning after. Here’s my five legitimate tried and tested hangover remedies…
1. Force yourself to get up
“Oh no,” you say. Oh yes.
You wake up (hopefully in your own bed) and slowly ease one eye open. The tiny square of light sneaking in from the gap in your curtains is already too much. Your mouth is dry. Your head hurts. You want to curl up and hide from the world until this goddamn awful feeling has passed.
If you actually drag yourself out of bed, take a shower and freshen up, you’ll feel miles better than if you laid around all day feeling sorry for yourself. Just not too hot or you might feel sick. Maybe open the window? Who doesn’t love a bit of fresh air.
2. Water and painkillers
The hard part is over with; you’re up and showered (and probably back in a clean pair of pyjamas). Drink a big glass of water – sips, not glugs if you’re feeling particularly fragile – and an ibuprofen. And stick to ibuprofen; aspirin and paracetamol can make you feel queasy if you’re not tip top. (Which obviously, we’re not).
3. Food, food, food
A big greasy fry-up may sound like a good idea, but you’re probably better off sticking to toast. Skip the fat and just get the sugar! Carbs are what you need and what your body will be craving.
I always find I crave fruit after a night out too; oranges, pineapple, something juicy and exotic. This is probably half because I’m so dehydrated, but fruit not only gives you an energy boost while your body breaks down your toast, but helps to restore the vitamins and minerals you’ve lost the night before. Or a banana to boost your potassium. Whatever tickles your fancy.
4. Sports drinks
A Lucozade sport is my little pride and joy. If you want to be ultra prepared, buy this the day before so you don’t even have to move for it. But an ice cold drink full of electrolytes will have you feeling better in no time.
5. Go for a walk
If there’s one last thing that makes you feel miles better it’s a bit of fresh air. Plus a bit of light exercise will get the endorphin’s running round your body and your mood will shoot from zero to one hundred. If you’re feeling up to it, heck, go for a run! Sweat it out. Hangover? Pft, what hangover? You’ve got this.
And if all goes to plan, you’ll be feeling fabulous by four o’clock and ready to get back on the wine. Or vodka. Or both? Cheers to that.